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May 31, 2006
Too much caffeine me thinks....
One woman talking to another woman:
Woman 1: He has terrible grammar in his email
Woman 2: For example?
Woman 1: He used the word Mean spelled "M-E-E-N" in the wrong
context.
Woman 2: [puzzled and doesn't say anything but nods in agreement
Where: Cafe
Overheard by: Mandy
Posted by Overheard at 06:44 PM | TrackBack
Who...
A reader writes:
Bob Holness is dead you know?
Is He?
No.
Where: Leeds
Posted by Overheard at 06:42 PM | TrackBack
May 29, 2006
A reader writes:
Staff 1: Where's your coat?
Staff 2 walking towards the back.
Staff 2: It went to Waves without me..
Where: Tesco's, Battle
Posted by Overheard at 06:24 PM | TrackBack
Dangerous times....
Girl: I just got attacked by a high-chair!
Where: Top o' the hill pub, Rye
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 06:22 PM | TrackBack
May 28, 2006
Ouch,ouch,ouch.....
Girl 1: They had the baby and the dog at the same time.
Girl 2: Ooh, that must have been painful!
Where: Rye
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 08:42 PM | TrackBack
Ummm, Donuts...
Girl: I need to start working out again. I haven't had any exersize
for ages.
Bus Driver: Me too. As of Monday, I'm gonna start jogging.
Girl: I might go down the gym soon.
Bus Driver: What gym do you go to?
Girl: Oh, right...
He stares at her, confused.
Girl: What?
Bus Driver: I asked you which gym you went to and you said "Oh
right."
Girl: Oh! I thought you said "I go to Rye gym"
Bus Driver: Err, no. You silly donut!
Where: Bus to Bexhill
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 08:40 PM | TrackBack
May 27, 2006
Roundabout this...
What in the h@#! is the deal with those stinkin roundabouts?
Why can't they just have 4 way stops like in the US.
It is the dumbest thing I ever did was to rent a car in the UK...
I'll never do that again until you people learn to drive on the right side of the road.....
Heard at a Avis rentacar center.
Angry Tourist..
Posted by Overheard at 06:49 PM | TrackBack
Who's driving?
Bus Driver: So, how does she know him?
Girl: Her ex is his friend.
Bus driver: (blank and confused expression)(slowly) Her... ex.. is...
his... friend?
Girl: (highly amused) Yeah.
Bus driver: Her ex.... is his.... friend?
Girl: (laughing) I'm sure you'll get it eventually.
Bus driver: Her ex is... his friend?
Girl: Yes... The guy she likes used to be friends with her ex.
Bus driver: Used to be?
Girl: Yeah.
This may well have gone on all day if she hadn't changed the
subject...
Where: Bus to Bexhill
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 06:44 PM | TrackBack
May 26, 2006
Meow...
Chavette: (sarcastic) Nice lipstick!
Girl: (quickly snaps back) Nice face!
Where: Hastings
Overheard by: Daisy (again!!!)
Posted by Overheard at 06:30 PM | TrackBack
Teachers pet...
Tutor: I don't have a favourite student. I like all of you the same.
Apart from the ones I don't like.
Student: What's wrong with Ben?
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 06:29 PM | TrackBack
May 25, 2006
Where are we?
Woman Suit 1: So where are you gonna celebrate tonight?
Suit 2: I was thinking of going to times square
Suit 1:errrr....Thats in New York
Suit 2:(surprised) Oh...whats the London equivalent?
Suit 1:Leicester Square?
Suit 2:I said London
Where: borough station
Overheard by: ravs
Posted by Overheard at 06:21 PM | TrackBack
Who are you callin a tart...
In class, a guy is showing everyone in sight a blister on his thumb.
Guy: Look! Look! This is so bad! Look!
Girl: How'd you do that?
Guy: I burnt it on a pop-tart!
Girl: (shocked) Really? You never expect a pop-tart to do that to you!
Guy: Yeah, I know! I'd heard rumours that pop-tarts were dangerous.
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 06:19 PM | TrackBack
May 24, 2006
God save the ...
Small child whining in high pitched squeel to mum...
Mommy, why can't we go and see the queen in her pretty carraige..
Mother: If you don't stop whining this instant we are going back to the flat!
Child: How come we can't go and see her?
Mother: You know very well that she reminds me of Uncle Nigel,
and you KNOW how I detest Uncle Nigel...
Overheard by: Terrance
Posted by Overheard at 06:56 PM | TrackBack
Just one sniff...
A teenage girl and her mother are in the deoderant section.
Mother: What deoderant do you want?
Girl: Dunno... Ooh vanilla! Oh, and what's this? After hours, that sounds
kinky!
Mother: Well, sniff it and see what it tastes like.
The daughter looks at her and they both burst out laughing.
Where: Budgens in Rye
Overheard by: Daisy (again!!!)
Posted by Overheard at 06:51 PM | TrackBack
May 23, 2006
There can be only one...
Tourist1: Hey, isn't that the river that the highlander has his barge on?
Tourist2: What?
Tourist1: You know, the Highlander, lives on this cool barge on a river in Paris..
Tourist2: Yeah,the only problem with that...is we're in London.....idiot!
Overheard by the Thames
Tourists..???
Posted by Overheard at 06:11 PM | TrackBack
Easy pickins...
Girl 1: So are you definately wearing a skirt on your birthday, cause I
don't wanna be the only one.
Girl 2: If I find one that looks nice on me. You see, I'll be so drunk that
I'll need the skirt for easy access.
Girl 1 and Girl 3 atand there, open mouthed and stare at her for a moment.
Girl 1: I thought you were supposed to be all sweet and innocent!
Girl 3: Trust me, hunny, you do NOT wanna know some of the things I've
heard coming outta her mouth.
Where: Bus to Bexhill
Overheard by: Daisy (again!!!)
Posted by Overheard at 06:04 PM | TrackBack
May 22, 2006
A rolling stoner gathers no moss...
I was walking back to college with my friend. We thought we were alone and
were in the middle of a conversation...
Friend: I'd love to make an acceptance speech.
Me: Yeah... I'd like to thank...
Friend: Myself.
Me: Myself... and (joking!) my drug dealer...
Random stoned looking guy: Who's that then?
We just stood there, not knowing how to respond.
Random guy: Maybe you should just stop... you'll feel better... maybe you
should just give it up, yeah?
Me: (totally confused) ...Yeah....
The guy walked off ahead, leaving me and my friend open mouthed. As soon as
he was out of ear-shot, we burst into laughter.
Where: Bexhill
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 05:49 PM | TrackBack
Chicks...go figure?
Girl 1: Look, there's your future boyfriend!
Girl 2: Future boyfriend?
Girl 1: Yeah, James. Your future boyfriend.
Girl 2: He's not my future boyfriend!.... He's not!.... What do you
mean?!?!? He's not my future boyfriend!
Girl 1: (cracks up) I love how you keep defending yourself, I was only
joking!
Girl 2: Well, people keep saying it, so I'm like, used to defending myself!
A while later...
Girl 1: Your future boyfriend has an ice cream.
Girl 2: I can see that.
Girl 1: Oh, so you're not denying he's your future boyfriend now!?!?
Girl 2: I gave up!
Girl 1: Would you like a chocolate raisin?
Girl 2: OK, just the one thanks.
She hands her three.
Girl 2: Oh, three! I feel privelaged.
Girl 1: Maybe you should give one to your future boyfriend.
Sitting there, I couldn't help thinking "give it a rest!!!"
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 05:46 PM | TrackBack
May 21, 2006
Wet Dreams...
Overheard from a couple coming out of
a London Floatation center...
Woman: This was your first float right?
Man: Yeah....
Woman: We'll, what did you think?
Man: It was great,after about 15 mintues I was sleeping
like a baby I was so relaxed....
Man ( puzzeled): But I had the strangest dreams........
Woman ( Laughing): That was probably the best wet dream you ever had!!!
Overheard by: Karin
Central
Posted by Overheard at 05:58 PM | TrackBack
Anger issues...
I was out clubbing with my best friend and her male workmate. She had been
stood up by a guy who had promised to meet her in there.
After the night was over, her workmate was rather worse for wear.
Workmate: Don't you worry. Me and Daisy'll go to Peacehaven and break his
legs! Won't we Daisy? (he comes over to me and grabs my shoulders) Here's
the plan! Tomorrow, we'll drive down to Peacehaven and find him and break
his legs!
Me (still relatively sober): So, how are we gonna find him?
Workmate: Well, we'll knock on the first door and say "Are you James?"
He'll say "no". Then we'll knock on the second door and say "Are you
James?" Then, we'll break his legs!!!
Where: Hastings
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 05:52 PM | TrackBack
May 20, 2006
Thumbs up dude....
walking past i overheard.
Woman City Worker: And then he had his big toe for a thumb.
Unlucky guy
Where: london bridge
Overheard by: ravs
Posted by Overheard at 07:11 AM | TrackBack
I Ate What?
Girl #1: I think that migraine tablet you gave me is what's making my
tummy hurt.
Girl #2: Well, it did go on the floor!
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 07:09 AM | TrackBack
May 19, 2006
now that's just crap...
I was waiting for a friend when a group of guys walked by. I only heard this
section of their conversation....
Guy 1: ... it de-tenses your bowles and your sphinkter.
Guy 2: Then what happens?
Guy 1: Basically, you crap yourself...
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 06:35 AM | TrackBack
Dorothy's slippers...
Two girls are stainding outside a classroom. One is wearing bright red,
shiney, pointy toed heels.
Girl 1: I can't believe I didn't get to see him today! I'm wearing my
I'm coming to get you" shoes and everything!!!
If I were this guy, I'd be worried!
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 06:33 AM | TrackBack
May 18, 2006
Yuck...
Guy: ... and then you can just throw up in his face....
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 06:46 PM | TrackBack
Sniff this...
A teenage girl and her mother are in the deoderant section.
Mother: What deoderant do you want?
Girl: Dunno... Ooh vanilla! Oh, and what\'s this? After hours, that sounds
kinky!
Mother: Well, sniff it and see what it tastes like.
The daughter looks at her and they both burst ouot laughing.
Where: Budgens in Rye
Overheard by: Daisy (again!!!)
Posted by Overheard at 06:38 PM | TrackBack
A good old grab...
Girl 1: With David, did you ever just get the urge to kiss him? Just to kiss
or cuddle him for no reason?
Girl 2: Yeah, all the time. You know, whenever we were on our break or
whatever.
Girl 1: It’s so hard isn’t it? I’ve never had this before!
Girl 2: Yeah, I know, it’s so hard to ignore. Like, sometimes, when we’d be
sitting there not doing anything to each other, I just wanted to grab him!
Girl 1: Yeah, sometimes we just need to have a good old grab!
Where: Bexhill
Overheard by: Daisy (again!!!)
Posted by Overheard at 06:35 PM | TrackBack
May 17, 2006
Pimpin the Mars Bars...
A group of girls are at the back of the bus. One is trying
to explain inflation to the others.
Girl #1: Mars Bars! They start of selling them really cheap,
then once people are hooked on Mars Bars, they put up the price.
Then the people go to their boss and say "I need more money to
buy more Mars Bars!"
Girl #2 (who has just arrived): What are you doing?
Girl #1: I'm teaching Sam business! I feel really intellegent!
Where: Bus to Bexhill
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 07:06 PM | TrackBack
Baa Baa What?
Some members of the class have been discussing racism,
sexism, ageism and basically anything else ending in ism.
Guy: You know, you're not allowed to sing baa baa black
sheep anymore.
You have to sing "Baa baa, ethnic minority sheep"
The entire class bursts into laughter.
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 07:04 PM | TrackBack
I'll show you my boobs!
Girl #1: Please come and do these photos with me.
Girl #2: No, I don't want to.
Girl #1: PLEASE!!!!
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: PLEEEEEASE!!!!
Girl #2: No!
Girl #1: I'll show you my boobs!
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 07:02 PM | TrackBack
Ruperts new dancin shoes..
Child: Mum, these new shoes are friggin killin me...
Mom: What did you just say!
Child: Um, mmm, What, who are you talkin too?
Where; Central London
Overheard by: Tag
Posted by Overheard at 12:35 AM | TrackBack
May 16, 2006
A reader writes
Guy: yea so i found out my dad had been having an affair with some woman for
the past 9 years
Paserby: OWNED
Where: The Deep North
Overheard by: Timmy
Posted by Overheard at 09:18 PM | TrackBack
A reader writes:
Teacher: So, can anyone remember what Hubert looks like?
Girl Student: (slowly and carefully) Is he, shall we say, of a darker
skin-tone?
Teacher: Yes, he is black.
Male Student: (laughs)
Girl Student: What? I was trying to avoid saying it like that! I didn\'t
want to offend anyone!
Male Student: Isn\'t is the acceptable way of refering to them though,
black?
Teacher: Yes. Yes it is.
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 09:18 PM | TrackBack
A reader writes:
Nan: Was it Sammy\'s (my cat) birthday yesterday?
Mum: Yeah.
Nan: How old was he?
Mum: 15.
Nan: He\'ll be dead soon then.
Ever the optimist....
Where: My house
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 09:14 PM | TrackBack
A reader writes
girl talking way too loud: Oh no its raining so hard, my fake tans gonna
run, ill end up with gravy legs!
Where: Liverpool cash point
Overheard by: Philharmonic
Posted by Overheard at 09:12 PM | TrackBack
May 11, 2006
And Daisy Got a Pad and a Pen
Two guys are chatting in class.
Guy 1: So, we might be in the hairdresser’s at the same time?
Guy 2: Yeah
Guy 1: How shall I get my hair cut?
Guy 2: Get it cut long.
Guy 1: How do I get my hair cut long?
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
An old lady and a teenage girl are sitting in the garden.
Girl: Entertain me!!!
Old lady: You're queer!
Where: Rye
Overheard by: Daisy
A guy and a girl are sitting on a bench in town.
Guy: Well, I asked you out and you said no!
Girl: Well, I told you why! It would be weird cause we’re like, best friends!
Guy: That’s what everyone else I asked said!
Where: Rye
Overheard by: Daisy
An old lady and a girl are walking down the street.
Girl: Who do you think is the most beautiful person in the world?
Old lady: Not you!
Where: Rye
Overheard by: Daisy
Three girls are at the front of the bus, talking to the driver.
(Balding) Driver: I had to wash my hair last night.
Girl 1: Wash your hair?
Girl 2: What do you do? Just scrape your head?
Driver: No! With shampoo and conditioner and everything. My head’s as smooth as a baby’s bum.
Girl 1: Well I’m sure that’s not right. I don’t think babies’ bums have bristles.
Where: Bus to Bexhill
Overheard by: Daisy
A cute girl student and the bus driver have been playfully flirting throughout the journey. There is obvious sexual tension between them.
Driver: What do you think Jeremy would have done if he’d seen me cuddling you?
Girl: I don’t know.
Driver: He probably would have been jealous cause he’d want to cuddle me.
Where: Bus to Bexhill
Overheard by: Daisy
A middle-aged-woman and her teenage daughter are walking through town.
Girl: You make me laugh!
Mother: Do I?
Girl: No.
Where: Rye
Overheard by: Daisy
Two girls a whispering in class.
Girl 1: Have you seen Emma’s hair?
Girl 2: Yeah, it’s tragic isn’t it?
Girl 1: Jake said it looked like a bruise.
Girl 2: Yeah! It does!
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
Guy 1: Things named after fish are really in right now. Mullets, pikes…
Guy 2: Cats.
Guy 1: Cats?
Guy 2: Yeah, like catfish.
Guy 1: I think you’ll find the fish was named after the cat. Not the other way around.
Guy 2: Oh, right. What about dogfish?
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
The driver is talking to a girl passenger.
Driver: I’ve never broken a bone in my life! Except for the time when I had an operation on my feet and they had to break all my bones.
Where: Bus to Bexhill
Overheard by: Daisy
I was looking through a magazine with a friend. There was an AIDS campaign advert with different celebs in it.
Me: The poster says “We all have AIDS”. Will Smith doesn’t have AIDS!
Guy: Elton John, yeah, he definitely has AIDS.
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
A girl walks into class extremely late. She is on her mobile.
Girl on phone: Oh really? Oh, how exiting! What, am I doing it as well? Oh that’s great! Bye! *hangs up* I’m making spaghetti Bolognese tonight!
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 05:52 PM
May 09, 2006
And Then There Was Daisy...
In a film studies class, three students get into a conversation about the film Festen.
Guy 1: Why would you want to rape your Dad?
Girl: Well, why not!?!?!?
Guy 2: When I’m annoyed with my Dad I don’t just go and bum him!
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
Two girls are walking down the aisles.
Girl: Some people are sick!.... Mmmm, cat food!
Where: Tesco, Bexhill
Overheard by: Daisy
Two girls have just stepped off the bus. There is a guy with long hair and a beard getting into a taxi. The girls walk past, then after a moment, the first one looks at the second and says smugly, "Did you see that? Jesus!"
Where: Hastings near ESK
Overheard by: Daisy
Two girls are walking down the street, near a house which is in the process of being built. They have not yet built steps up to the front door.
Girl 1: That door’s really high up. How are you supposed to get in, jump?
Girl 2: I think they’ll probably build some steps up to the door.
Where: St. Leonards
Overheard by: Daisy
Two girls have just got off the bus. One looks incredibly freaked out.
Girl: I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was smiling at me, like, full on grinning, so I was like, I’m staring at the back of Nikki’s head. Keep staring at Nikki’s head. I’m so engrossed in Nikki’s head.
Where: Rye
Overheard by: Daisy
A gay guy and a girl are speaking really loudly on the bus. The girl pauses for a moment before turning to the guy to enquire: "If you’re wearing contact lenses and someone poked you in the eye, would you feel it?"
Where: Bus to Bexhill
Overheard by: Daisy
Me and a friend are talking in class, when our male friend turns round looking suitably unimpressed.
Guy: Ladies! Shhh! Stop talking, I’m trying to work!
Girl: Ask nicely and we might.
Guy: OK, ladies, would you kindly…shut the fuck up?
Where: Bexhill College
Overheard by: Daisy
Posted by Overheard at 08:45 PM
May 07, 2006
Got Ritalin?
Kid A: Shite, I so need to prepare for my exams.
Kid B: I hear ya...so, are we calling your dealer or what?
Kid A: Oh yeah, fo' sho'.
Where: Weymouth
Overheard by: Maverick
Posted by Overheard at 02:26 PM
May 06, 2006
Hold the Pickle
Guy: I hope she has enough Diet Coke to wash down all of those Big Macs.
Overheard by: Brandi
Posted by Overheard at 07:16 AM
May 05, 2006
So What Are Those Suckers You're Sportin', Guy?
Guy on mobile: That's now how you check a cat. You gotta look for nipples. It should be easy to tell, they've got like six of them.
Where: Farringdon Station
Posted by Overheard at 07:06 AM
May 03, 2006
And Now It's Time To Get You Drunk, Lady
There's a lady kneeling down in some dogs face.
Woman: Ohh, somebody got you drunk again didn't they? Yes, they did! Ohhh yes they did!
Where: Woodham Mortimer, Essex
Overheard by: Guapo
Posted by Overheard at 07:08 AM
May 01, 2006
Someone Needs Nicorette
Woman: Put your cigarette out and eat it while it's hot!
Where: Richmond
Overheard by: Wendy
Posted by Overheard at 06:51 AM