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February 27, 2006
Blender, Check. Straw, Check. Dinner, Puree.
Woman: How's your tooth?
Man: Still hanging in there. I've been drinking lots of milk...lukewarm though.
Where: Piccadilly Circus
Overheard by: Kevin
Posted by Overheard at 08:05 AM
February 23, 2006
Grandpa?
Group of school kids looking at the bog man they found a couple of years ago.
Little Boy: He looks rather familiar.
Where: The British Museum
Overheard by: Jodie
Posted by Overheard at 06:33 AM | Comments (1)
February 22, 2006
Welcome to the Real World
Suit: My entire future is in jeopardy, I wasn't ready for triplets.
Where: Waterloo Tube
Posted by Overheard at 06:31 AM
February 20, 2006
Must Have Been the Leather Seats
Guy on mobile: I woke up in my car today. No, I was actually in my driveway.
Overheard by: Abe
Posted by Overheard at 07:17 AM
February 18, 2006
Then Why's It Called The John?
Man: I'm convinced a woman invented the toilet.
Man 2: Why, we gotta sit half the time.
Man: Because when we do have to sit, my schlong always touches the bowl.
Man 2: Huh...that does make sense.
Man: It was either a woman or a guy with a really small dick.
Where: Regent and Conduit, London
Overheard by: J. Bailey
Posted by Overheard at 08:41 AM
February 17, 2006
I Want to Suck Your Blood
Woman on mobile: He was sleeping with his eyes open. I just thought he was screwing with me, so I was telling him to quit it, only he wouldn't wake up. And then his eyes kind of rolled over, looking at me...and rolled away again. And then they rolled back at me!
Woman on mobile: I know, so I slapped the shit out of him for freaking me out!
Where: Belgrave Road, London
Overheard by: The Lollipop Kid
Posted by Overheard at 08:37 AM
February 16, 2006
A Man of Few Words
Bloke 1: What's that?
Bloke 2: My C.V..
Bloke 1: That thing?...[laughing]...it's shorter than my lad after a good day of shagging.
Bloke 2: [Not laughing]
Bloke 1: [Still laughing]
Where: Kingsbury Station, London
Posted by Overheard at 08:08 AM
February 15, 2006
Can She Do Headstands?
Girl on mobile: My god, have you seen her extensions? I know! Like who went and told her to take mop-top literally?
Where: Selfridges, Oxford Street, London
Overheard by: Emily
Posted by Overheard at 06:55 AM
February 14, 2006
At Ease Drummer Boy
Teen 1: What are you doing?
Teen 2: What?
Teen 1: Why are you standing like that? You're not in the Army yet.
Where:The Tube, Old Street
Posted by Overheard at 08:08 AM
February 13, 2006
Robert Palmer Lives On...
Suit at the pump: Might as well face it, might-might as well face it. Might as well face it you're addicted to oil.
Where: Shell, Holloway Road, London
Overheard by: Shane
Posted by Overheard at 07:01 AM
February 11, 2006
And During the Formation of the Solar System...
Hobo: During the ice age, you know, it was just called the Olympics.
Where: Victoria Station, London
Overheard by: Ross Manheim
Posted by Overheard at 07:59 AM
February 10, 2006
Groundhog Day
Guy: Before graduation, we got all dressed up to go see the chorus. So I'm standing there in my nice suit and I think have to fart, only it wasn't a fart.
Guy 2: Damn!!! Did it fall out yer leg?
Guy: No but it was nasty though.
Guy 2: Eww!
Where: Russell Square
Overheard by: Stopher
Posted by Overheard at 07:04 AM
February 09, 2006
Nice Alarm Clock
Guy: ...and I was in this beautiful field of grass and wildflowers...
Girl: Oh, I love those!
Guy: Yeah, right, then suddenly I was getting beat up by these guys with two-by-fours.
Where: Tottenham Court Road Station
Overheard by: Naria
Posted by Overheard at 06:54 AM
February 06, 2006
Could You Draw Me a Picture?
Dean's assistant: How about an update on the report for the database we talked about last week? Have you gotten to that yet?
IT guy: I'm not sure which one you're talking about.
Dean's assistant: Well, currently there is a cross tab that displays home addresses and a cross tab that displays financial aid, but we need a report to show us the student records by city with home address, and we need a find-sort for all students with financial aid and a hold on their account.
IT guy: ...Um, I couldn't tell where that sentence began and where it ended.
Dean's assistant: Neither could I.
Where: University of Oxford
Overheard by: Baudelaire
Posted by Overheard at 08:48 PM
But I Have My Head in There
Young woman on mobile: Yes, I have a hairdryer. Why do you want it?! (Pause) Sam, would it not be quicker to put your jeans in the tumble-dryer?
Where: The Elephant House, Edinburgh
Overheard by: Hannah
Posted by Overheard at 07:02 AM
February 05, 2006
Eating Cow Pies Are We?
Girl: You got something on your mouth there.
Guy: Did I get it?
Girl: Nope, still there.
Guy: Still, what is it?
Girl: Smells like a load of bullshit to me.
Where: The Tube, London
Overheard by: Ed
Posted by Overheard at 07:39 AM
February 04, 2006
Condom Wrappers on the Street
Bartender: You guys don't go far huh?
Bloke: Naw, we just went for a quickie.
Where: Hop Poles, Brixton, London
Overheard by: Logan
Posted by Overheard at 07:19 AM
February 03, 2006
Coca Tea at Noon
Hippie on cell: Yeah, the President of Bolivia is all about coke. What!? I'm booking a flight tonight!
Where: Soho, London
Overheard by: Cammy
Posted by Overheard at 05:52 AM
February 02, 2006
"...I get older, they stay the same age."
Woman: You haven't been on a date with someone who's age doesn't end in teen, ever.
Thirty Something Guy: I know...it's almost godly.
Woman: You know who you've become? Matthew McConaughey, from Dazed and Confused.
Thirty Something Guy: That ain't bad at all.
Where: The Piccadilly Line
Overheard by: Jared
Posted by Overheard at 08:20 AM
February 01, 2006
Blame it on the Alcohol
Drunk girl: Did you just give that botty-boy your number?
Drunk guy: No.
Drunk girl: What the hell? You did, I saw ya!
Drunk guy: You ain't see nothin'.
Where: East London
Overheard by: Candice
Posted by Overheard at 12:11 PM