The Revenge of Miki Mouse
Bloke 1: So this guy out was raking, burning leaves. He goes back inside and finds a mouse. The sadistic fucker douses the little bugger in lighter fluid and throws it into the flaming leaves. Immediately the mouse goes kamikaze on the man, runs in the house and catches everything on fire. Next thing you know his whole house is up in flames.
Bloke 2: Serves him right if you ask me.
Bloke 1: Yeah, but my point is, be the mouse man!
Bloke 2: Alright, how about a couple more shots of confidence first?
Overheard by: Fitz
Where: The Cooperage, Tooley Street, London