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December 31, 2005
Ring in the New Year With Wines & Spirits
Guy: What's your new years' resolution?
Guy 2: To not wake up in my own vomit this time.
Guy: Oh, that's right! Hey, maybe you'll die in it.
Guy 2: Maybe...maybe.
Overheard by: Bev
Posted by Overheard at 06:49 AM
December 30, 2005
Better Than A Calculator Watch
Woman: Excuse me, do you know what time it is?
Guy: Sorry, I don't know.
Woman: Can't you check your watch?
Guy: It's only right twice a day.
Random lady: It's 1:25.
Woman: Thank you.
Guy: Hey, I guess I do have the time.
Woman: It's working?
Guy: Nope. Give it a minute and it'll go back into bracelet mode.
Posted by Overheard at 09:04 AM
December 29, 2005
Not Allergic to Incest Though
Guy: I gotta get my own place man.
Guy 2: Still sleeping with your sister?
Guy: Yeah man.
Guy 2: I don't understand why you don't sleep on the couch.
Guy: I told you. I'm allergic to cats.
Guy 2: Uhuh.
Overheard by: Mika
Posted by Overheard at 09:02 AM
December 25, 2005
He Isn't?
Staff guy: So, did you see Jools Holland last night?
Staff girl: Yeah. That's how I know Shane McGowan isn't dead.
Where: Bargin Bookshop in Aberdeen
Overheard by: Joe
Posted by Overheard at 09:06 AM
December 22, 2005
Sure Isn't Blue
Drunk Kid #1: We're goin to Bayswater right?
Drunk Kid #2: Did you just say Beige Water?
Drunk Kid #1: What? No, there's no Beige Water.
Where: The Tube
Overheard by: Kristin
Posted by Overheard at 11:04 PM
December 20, 2005
The Old Or New Series?
Girl 1: But that's a bit weird, right?
Girl 2: I guess so - but he is good, isn't he?
Girl 1: Well, yes. And I used to like the Wombles too.
Where: KFC, Cornmarket Street, Oxford
Overheard by: Flo
Posted by Overheard at 12:26 PM | TrackBack
I'm A Oven Man
Girl: Bun...Bun-bun.
Guy: Meh?
Girl: Bunnnn.
Guy: What am I, a bakery?
Overheard by: Eric
Posted by Overheard at 03:59 AM | TrackBack
December 16, 2005
Atleast She Didn't Say Daddy
Guy: There's something wrong with both of you.
Guy 2: Me? She's the one who called me the wrong name.
Guy: Yeah, that's her problem. You know there's something wrong with you when you finish your nut before bringing it up.
Guy 2: What? There's nothing wrong with that!
Overheard by: J-Ski
Posted by Overheard at 10:19 AM | TrackBack
December 14, 2005
Must Be Rodent Week
Chic on mobile: Then we get to his place and what do I see?
Chic on mobile: White mice. Little lab mice, running around in plastic bubbles.
Chic on mobile: Yes, exactly like Bubble-Boy!
Where: King's Road
Posted by Overheard at 12:50 PM | TrackBack
December 13, 2005
Time To Call P.E.T.A?
Girl 1: Yes, but what did he say?
Girl 2: I keep telling you! He's convinced that I'll -
Girl 3: What, with that duck thing?
Girl 1: What an eejit. If he knew you well...
Girl 2: He'd know that I'd never do that....why would I when I have my hamster?
Where: Enfield County School
Overheard by: Ash S.
Posted by Overheard at 07:40 AM | TrackBack
December 12, 2005
Slippery When Wet
Woman 1: Had a nasty spill in the shower this morning.
Woman 2: [Makes uhoh face] Ouch.
Woman 1: Completely killed the mood.
Where: Neds Noodle Bar, Belvedere Road
Posted by Overheard at 09:25 AM | Comments (1)
December 11, 2005
And They Wear Their Teams' Turbans To Games
Teen girl 1: I wonder if they come wrapped...or if they come fitted like Yankee caps.
Teen girl 2: Yeah, then they go home and hang them on their turban racks.
Teen girl 1: God, we're awful.
Teen girl 2: Not my fault I wasn't cultured.
Overheard by: Jewlez
Posted by Overheard at 03:24 PM
December 09, 2005
So What's The Cup-holder For?
Drunk guy 1: Where ya goin'?
Drunk guy 2: To find the car.
Drunk guy 1: The car's this way.
Drunk guy 2: No, it's over here.
Drunk guy 1: You ask me, I don't think you should be driving.
Drunk guy 2: I don't think you should be driving.
Drunk guy 1: Let's just find the car.
Drunk guy 2: Okay.
Where: Romney Street
Posted by Overheard at 07:49 AM
WHOUPS! We Did It Again.
ATTENTION: If you submitted an overheard using the above link in the past, and your story didn't get published please re-submit!
Once again, our submission tool was buggy and if you used a certain character in your story, your submission came to us as a blank email. We'd been wondering who'd been submitting all of the blank stories (we got like 50), when we realised our code was a little buggy.
So please, resubmit your story, it might have been really good but we just never got to read it.
Thanks,
OHUK
PS. You can send stories to email@overheardinheuk.com. That's email @ this website dot com...so, email@overheardintheuk.com. SEND SEND TO TO EMAIL EMAIL @ THIS PLACE DOT COM!
Posted by Overheard at 12:47 AM | Comments (1)
December 08, 2005
Lovely Beauty Mark, How Can I Get One?
Teen girl: Want some?
Teen guy: Thanks.
Teen girl: Oh my god! I was just seeing if you'd actually infect me with your viral-arse.
Teen guy: What, never seen a cold-sore before?
Teen girl: You know that's a nice way of saying herpes, right?
Teen guy: No, it's not. It's a blister.
Teen girl: Yeah, packed with herpes.
Teen guy: Shut it with that!
Whino: She's right laddie, ya got the herpes!
Teen girl: Told ya.
Where: 24 Bus
Posted by Overheard at 06:29 AM
December 07, 2005
Yarma-Yarma-Yarma-Yarma-Yarmulkameleon
Jewish kid: That was easy. Did you even try?
Black kid: Yes, but you white boys just get away with anything!
Jewish kid: I'm not white, I'm Jewish.
Black kid: How convenient.
Jewish kid: What?
Black kid: Keep telling yourself that...Next time I'll rock a Yarmulka and a Star of David, and they'll still watch me.
Jewish kid: So what. Any chap parading around like that would get extra attention.
Black kid: You're white, nigga!
Posted by Overheard at 03:14 AM
December 01, 2005
Quiet Baby, Let Me Sing You A Song
Me and my friend Ish overheard W's girlfriend yelling at him:
The Girlfriend: Look, I can't take this shit anymore. You have to make a choice. It's either me or karaoke!
She was crying mad hard. And we kept walking mad fast.
Overheard by: Tone
Where: Camden Passage
Posted by Overheard at 08:53 PM