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November 29, 2005
Wish You Had Your Calulator Watch, Don't You?
Indian Guy: How long until we land?
Guy: Just a few minutes, that's London right there.
Indian Guy: What? No, how long in seconds?
Where: 757 from New York to Heathrow
Posted by Overheard at 11:00 PM
November 23, 2005
I Don't Know What You're Talking About
Girl: Forget it, I can't talk to you.
Guy: What's that supposed to mean?
Girl: You never understand anything.
Guy: What are you trying to say?
Where: Marylebone High & Beaumont
Posted by Overheard at 07:00 AM
November 22, 2005
Mole Men Seen In Subways
Guy on mobile: There are no homeless people in Japan. If there are they're all subterranean.
Where: Conduit & Regent
Posted by Overheard at 01:12 PM
November 21, 2005
The Stone, Yes. The Sword...No.
Guy: So Camelot...
Girl: Just a fable.
Guy: And King Aurthur?
Girl: Never existed.
Guy: Stop lying!
Where: Waterloo Terrace
Posted by Overheard at 08:05 AM
November 20, 2005
Nice Save Daddy-O
Little girl Is that little dog gonna die?
Father No, they're just playing.
Little girl But what if the big dog gets her pregnant and and her babies are too big to come out?
Father That's why we have to get our pets neutered sweetie.
Where: Broomfield Park, Palmers Green
Posted by Overheard at 07:20 AM
November 19, 2005
Can I Get Wings On My Pizza Then?
Customer: Last time they said that since my order got messed up I'd get free wings with my next order.
Cashier: I see that you're supposed to get a free pizza.
Customer: Oh yeah...forget it then, I thought I was getting something good.
Where: Papa Johns in Corby
Posted by Overheard at 05:33 PM
November 18, 2005
Crossexual Trainers
Guy: Wow, your sneakers are velcro?
Guy with velcro: Velcro and lace.
Guy: Wow...and do you become straight again when you take them off?
Where: Knightsbridge Station
Posted by Overheard at 07:18 AM | Comments (1)
November 17, 2005
Just Gherkin His Chain
A Yank in a London cab was slagging off how long Kings Cross Station, the London Eye and Wembley Stadium were taking to build and saying that if it was in AMERICA these buildings would have been finished on time...Then he went on about the 2012 olympics in England saying they wont be ready in time considering the fact a new transport system had to be built through the East End of London, etc...
By the time the Taxi got into the City of London The Yank pointed to the newly erected building nicknamed the Gherkin, he then asked the Cabbie how long it took to build:
Cabbie: Which building, sir?
Yank: The cigar shaped one.
Cabbie: Oh that one! It must have been built overnight it wasnt there yesterday!!!
Overheard by: Dave
Posted by Overheard at 05:17 PM | Comments (2)
November 16, 2005
Engage In Conversation Only
Guy: What's really wrong with that?
Other guy: You just can't do that, there are rules of war, rules of physics, and rules of sister-in-laws.
Guy: I know but...it's not like...so you wouldn't?
Other guy: Well, now that's a different story. But then again, I'm a different story all together.
Where: The Duke, Elgin Crescent
Posted by Overheard at 06:55 AM
November 15, 2005
I Only Paid £300 For My Free iPod
Guy: How's that free iPod coming along?
Free iPod Guy: Ask me about 12 magazine subscriptions and £100 of Starbucks later.
Where: Sydney Street & Kings Road
Posted by Overheard at 06:53 AM
November 14, 2005
So You Nothing
Girl: I heard the funniest thing at work today. You wanna hear?
Girl: So, I...[gets cut off]
Other girl: Neh... No.
Where: No. 176 bus
Posted by Overheard at 04:13 PM
November 09, 2005
Caution: Biohazardous Materials
Teen Girl: I think mum might be pregnant.
Her Sister: Impossible, she already went through menopause.
Teen Girl: Well there's a pregnancy test in the trash.
Her Sister: Oh, fuck! Shit, shit, shit. I gotta go back home. You did not see that!
Teen Girl: Yeah. Bye...Cum-bucket.
Where: Highgate Station
Posted by Overheard at 08:26 AM | Comments (1)
November 08, 2005
Nice To See Cleaning Crews Go Above and Beyond
Woman: My boyfriend thinks I'm cheating.
Woman 2: Why's he think that?
Woman: Because whenever I work late I'll text him "I'm coming", "Coming now", or something like that.
Woman 2: Why don't you just say you're coming home.
Woman: What do you think?
Where: Walk, Oxford Street
Posted by Overheard at 07:47 AM
November 07, 2005
Wha'chu Tryin'a Say???
White guy: Come on, show a brotha some love.
Girl: Dad, stop talking like that.
Where: Jermyn Street
Posted by Overheard at 06:58 AM
November 06, 2005
And This Is A Brick
Neighbor: Shut the fuck up, people are trying to sleep!
Drunk Girl: This is an apartment complex, we don't have to be quiet!
Where: Tavistock Square
Posted by Overheard at 07:34 AM
November 05, 2005
Sarcasm, With A Touch of White, Coming Up
Server: Tall coffee.
Customer: I ordered mine light with two sugars.
Server: Black is your pallet. Over there is your milk and sugar. Go create.
Where: Starbucks, Paddington Station
Posted by Overheard at 07:54 AM
November 04, 2005
Dogs Didn't Get The Name From The Food...
Hobo w/Hotdog: Last time I ate here I shit so much I thought I had cholera.
Hobo Two: Water works out the arse?
Hobo w/Hotdog: All day... but always worth the risk.
Where: Leicester Square
Posted by Overheard at 07:47 AM
November 02, 2005
It's Just This Booger In My Mocha
Woman: That little pick and flick you have going there isn't very subtle. It get's really nasty after awhile.
Guy: I don't have a tissue and it tickles for fucks sake.
Woman: Sorry.
Where: Dundas & Richmond
Posted by Overheard at 06:20 AM