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September 30, 2005
Momma Da Big Pill Poppa
Teen Guy: What kind of drugs is your mum on?
Teen Girl: The fantastic kinds.
Where: ...High Street...
Posted by Overheard at 07:31 AM
September 29, 2005
We've Seen Better Dungeons
American tourist w/Slim Pickens accent: The Tower O'London couldn't be more real and instead we came to this piece of sheeeyat.
Where: The London Dungeon 'Gents
Posted by Overheard at 09:08 AM
September 28, 2005
New Meaning to Shedding Skin
Guy on mobile: Do a lot of people get circumcised at your age?
Guy on mobile: Really.
Where: Sussex Gardens
Posted by Overheard at 08:36 AM
September 27, 2005
Who Wants Canned Beets?
Thrifty Guy: The trick is to only buy things that are buy one get one free.
Other Guy: Don't you find that most of those deals are for things you don't really want?
Thrifty Guy: Yeah, I still eat out like 3 times a week...
Other Guy: [Laff]
Thrifty Guy: But it's a fantastic feeling when you buy a cart of food for the price of a basket!
Other Guy: I'll give you a cart of shit for free.
Where: Beckton
Posted by Overheard at 07:37 AM
September 22, 2005
What About My Civil Rights?!
Bartender: Sorry, I'll need your drivers license.
Scruffy Kid: ...eh?
Bartender: I need a drivers license, I can't take this.
Scruffy Kid: I don't drive.
Bartender: Or a passport.
Scruffy Kid: I don't travel either okay, this is all I have.
Bartender: Sorry, can't serve you then.
Scruffy Kid: Don't you find it at all ironic that only those who drive or fly can drink? I won't stand for this irony. This is descrimiation, you know?
Bartender: Look, these don't exist yet. See that calendar? It says 2005 not 2008 okay wiseguy? So take your fake ID to someone who gives a shit.
Where: Bradley’s Spanish Bar
Overheard by: Johnny Walker, straight
Posted by Overheard at 11:49 PM
September 09, 2005
Your Breasts Are So Chic
Trendy Girl: Hey do you want to come with me to the Design Festival opening?
Guy: What's it cost?
Trendy Girl: It's free.
Guy: Are your boobs going to be in it?
Trendy Girl: Ha. Ha.
Guy: Exquisite design.
Trendy Girl: Thank you, you fucking arse-hole.
Overheard by: Girl trying on Blair mask. (Thank you, we know you guys had ears!)
Where: Knutz, Russell Street
Posted by Overheard at 08:50 PM
September 02, 2005
A Confession (of sorts): Who Am I?
Who am I? I am the master of the veiled threat. I drink Jameson neat, out of a wine glass. I am beautiful. I don’t have sex as often as I should. I am very, very smart. I do not cry in public anymore. I wish on stars, and eyelashes, and clocks. I want to be famous. I am a very private person. I am not shallow. I appreciate generosity. I don’t trust anyone immediately. I hunger for contact with new people. I’ve been the other woman two and a half times. I’m not proud of that, or my tendency to exaggerate. I do not often say what I think. I think a lot. I’m not someone you like immediately. I avoid confrontation. I thrive on winning. I have never had a weight problem. I have breasts slightly smaller than I would like, but bigger than gravity would ignore. I am getting gray hair. I have phenomenal teeth, caps. I leave wet dishes on the counter. I write essays while riding public transportation. I can dance better than almost any stripper. I can sing better than most church soloists. I’ve never been in love that lasted.
Posted by Overheard at 05:32 PM | Comments (3)
September 01, 2005
Moo
Guy on mobile: What do you mean you milked her?
Guy on mobile: *Starts laughing very loudly*
Guy on mobile: Does it taste good?
Where: Deisel on Kensington High
Posted by Overheard at 08:37 AM